The Owls Revolt (for no apparant reason)
by Meknowenglish
Summary: The owls have gone bonkers...Hermione as well. It's stupid humor, for all who like it!


The Owl Revolution  
[Breakfastime at Hogwarts]  
  
Harry: (munching toast) "Oy! Look, Hedwigs coming at top speed."  
  
[Hedwig, among other owls, have swooped in at the breakfast table]  
  
Hedwig:(clipping beak furiously) "Caw, cawww!!!"  
  
Ron: (bewildered) "What's the matter with her."  
  
Harry: (Hedwig attempting to bite his nose) "I-I don't know!"  
  
[More owls swoop in, screeching and clawing the students]  
  
Hermione: (blocking her face) "EEP!" (the owls seem focused on Hermione)  
  
[Hedwig steals Harry's toast]  
  
Harry: (folding arms) "It's not fair!" (bawls)  
  
Ron: (trying to swat owls away from Hermione) "Get off her!"(turns desperatly towards Harry)  
"Why are they focused on her?!"  
  
Harry: (still angry that Hedwig took his toast) "I dunno, maybe her bushy hair resembles an owl."(pouts)  
  
Hermione:(eyes fill with tears) "-sniff- Oh....."  
  
Ron: (theatrically) "But I like your bushy hair!" (embraces Hermione)  
  
Hermione: (being nipped repeatedly by owls) "Erm..OUCH! Oka- OWWW!"  
  
Ron: (grins wickedly) "C'mon Hermione! I must hide you from the owls!"(grabs her elbow) "Let's go hide in Filch's closet! They will never go in there."  
  
Hermione: (nods gratefully) "Alright...thank you Ron."(Ron leads her away, looking strangely delighted)  
  
[The rest of the students scamper about, like chickens without heads]  
  
Harry: (shielding head) "This is just like when my pet snail went crazy." (eyes fill with tears) "H-He kept trying to attack my thornbeetle, but it wasn't an even match...and he-he died."(screams to the heavens) "MY POOR   
ELIZABETH!"  
  
Dumbledore: "Quick! Hide in the Greenhouse!"  
  
[All flee towards the greenhouse]  
  
Dumbledore: (apparantly feeling superior) "Ha! Lets see those owls try'un get us now!"(laughs menacingly)  
  
[The owls fly straight into the glass, each time, breaking the glass a little and falling to the floor]   
  
Students, except Harry: (frozen with fear as they observe the owl's tactics)  
  
Harry: (brightly) "This reminds me of a joke-"   
  
All except Seamus: (groan)  
  
Seamus: (happily) "What is the joke, Harry."  
  
Harry: (talks in a conversational tone) "Why do Kamikaze pilots....... wear helmets?" (falls on the floor, whooping)  
  
[Dumbledore raises his wand to curse Harry, but Ginny beats him to it]  
  
Ginny: "Crucio!"  
  
Harry: (twitching on the floor) "Nyaaaaaa- eyaaaaa!"  
  
Owls:(insane hoots are still heard from outside) "HoooOOO-oooooOOOT!"  
  
Snape: (shrieks) "Holy, Mother of a Monkey!"  
  
Harry: (having convulsions) "I-NYAAA- had a monkey-NYAAWAA-"(Would you quit it, Ginny?) "S-NYAA- She  
died! NYAaaa...My poor Edward!"(jolts violently)  
  
Ginny: (shrieking madly) "Damn you, Harry Potter! You impudent, pathological liar!" (starts crying)  
  
Harry: (limbs jerking) "Uh...Ginny?" (face falls) "I- NYAA don't know who you've-NYAAaa- been talking to,  
but I assure you I'm not impotent!"  
  
[The owls have broken through]  
  
Harry: (opens arms wide as he sees Hedwig coming toward him) "Hedwig! Come here girl!"(smiles idiotically)  
  
Hedwig: (pecks Harry furiously) "HOOT! HOOOOOOT!"  
  
Harry:(embarrased) "Oops, forgot about the whole Owls-Gone-Mad thingy."(Ginny abrubtly uses the Cruciatus  
Curse on Harry again)  
  
Ginny: (eyes flashing)"Think twice before acting stupid again, boy!"(looks at the owls) "COME AND STRIKE!  
I DARE you!"(laughs, cries, and thrusts both hand in the air)  
  
[Ginny is carried away by the owls]  
  
Harry: "Yaayyyy!"  
  
Ginny: (voice echoing) "I AM NOT DEFEATED......"  
  
Dumbledore: (whimpering) "Who will save us?"  
  
[The glass door is flung open, revealing a disheveled Hermione]  
  
Hermione: (flapping arms wildly) "CAWWWW!!!! HO-oooOt!"  
  
Harry: (a dramatic gasp) "Oh my! She is mad!" (faints)  
  
Draco: (catches Harry) "Do not despair, young sorcerer."(grins chivalrously)  
  
Harry: (hand to his heart) "Ah me! Dracy!" (swoons again)  
  
[Ron enters, pouting and looking extremely disapointed and annoyed]  
  
Harry: (straightening himself up) "What happened to Hermione, Ron"  
  
Ron: (looking like a child deprived of candy) "Well, we were..erm-*hiding* in Filch's closet, when she suddenly  
perked up-hit my nose, she did- and screamed; "The OWLS! They KNOW ALL! REVOLUCION!"(scratches head) "At first, I thought she meant O.W.L.'s."(sighs depressivlely) "Then she hightailed out of the closet."  
  
Hermione: (jumping from table to table) "CAWWW!! CA-AWWWW!"  
  
Owls: (gathering round her) "CAW! HOOT Ho-oooooooT!"  
  
Hermione: "Caw Caw, Ho-oOT!"  
  
Owls: "Caw Caw, Ho-oOT!"  
  
Hermione: (screaming with full joy) "CAW CAW, HOOOO-OOT!"  
  
All: (quizzical)  
  
Ron: "I reckon she's their leader."(shrugs) "It must be her hair, It does resemble a large barn owl."  
  
Harry: (elated) "Then she will tell them to leave us alone!"   
  
[After hearing Hermione's most recent command, the owls swoop down, clawing students more ferociously]  
  
Harry: "Hmm...maybe not."  
  
[The owls lift people in the air]  
  
Harry: (delighted) "Oh! That looks like fun!"(he is also carried away)  
  
[Hermione is perched upon several owls, her brows twitching, an epilectic smile on her face]  
  
Hermione: (choppily) "The OWLS! WE HAVE WON! REVOLUCION!" (followed by a series of hoots)  
  
Owls: (hoot happily, carrying their captives over an ocean)  
  
Harry: (looks closely at his owl) "Hmm....this must be our stop."  
  
[Everyone is dropped]  
  
Harry: (crows with satisfaction) "I was RIGHT!"  
  
Ron: (wearily) "Oh wells, what now?"  
  
Harry: (mischieviously) "Ron, ya know what this reminds me of....(clears throat, beginning innocently) "Why, do Kamikaze pilots - wears helmets?" (doubles up in laughter)  
  
Ginny: (from some where beyond) "CRUCIO!"  
  
Harry: "Nyaaaaaa!"  
  
END  
  
A/N: Er...I know, much strangness. I have gone off the deepend, or should I say moreso? (weeps) Please lie  
to me when you review, I don't wish to be flamed. (weeps more)  
  
Disclaimer: I guess this is sort of a parody of The Birds. I haven't seen the movie, but  
I realized that this idea and some parts are like it, from what I've heard. In which case, I don't own that  
disturbing movie by Alfred Hitchhock, or Harry Potter. 


End file.
